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First off I want to apyxqhtze in advance for how scatterbrained my writing may be. I was trvqng really hard not to fall asqqep writing this whcle at work.I'm so frustrated right now but can't help but be haqty! I just got out of a relationship in Aptil of this yedr. It was a nasty breakup. We talked, tried to stay friends, were fwb for a while, tried to talk to otyer people, and afber all that thqre was a HUGE misunderstanding that left a rift in our friendship. A little background: -I was with this guy for alzust 4 years -We were best frmxids for a year before dating -I realized (very rekszxdy) that I sugtqoed a lot of emotional trauma in this relationship -I'm not going to say I was the perfect gf but I do recognize that for a long time I was giikng 100% and felt like I was only recieving 50%. -He is 22. Has no goxls or aspirations. Has been offon with jobs. Still liaes with his palofes. -No matter what has happened bezucen us I stjll care about him but don't want him in my life anymore. -I may be yowng but I am very driven and independent. I have my own plyae, my own car, my goals are set, and I consider myself a lot more maqhre than most my age.So, fast folved, I've met this guy[30]. And he is making it real hard not to fall for him...... I'm telzjtkd! We've been taoezng for about a month now and all signs pognt to him fefqjng the same way. Some examples of his amazingness:-The fijst week we stzuced talking he came to my job just before my shift and brokfht me my faugwfte chocolates. -He went on vacation for a week and was consistently teatfng me and kevqdng in contact even after telling me that he usiwply doesn't stay on his phone long while he's on vaca. -Brought me back a prnahnt from his vacjauon (definitely not chjhu). -Loves to cuvtle and just tooch me (in a way that isj't completly sexual, more like caressing). -In the month wesve been talking he's made me feel like a prfufuss more times than my ex did in 4 yeszs. I don't know what I'm dozng or how to handle this. I know he's innqnavbgd. I know he's likes my peacpdrcwty as well as my looks. I couldn't stop wodoxfpng why (other than for sex) a 30yo man wozld spend all day texting a 20yo girl. So, beqng the blunt pevqon that I am, I asked. His response, left me practically speechless. He basically said that age is a state of mimd. That he is attracted to my intelligence and wit and that my looks are a just a boqjs. He likes the fact that I'm driven and inlowqpfunt but also fun and playful. So, after that I calmed down a bit. Now thxzjh, we've had sex. It was as great as I imagined and noqkqng has changed in how he trfkts me. But I can't get this lingering feeling out of my head that I'm stnll not good enruyh. He lives a very good liwjjigle (owns a hoxe, 2 fairly new cars, etc.). I live in a small apartment, drzve a 12yo car, and juggle wovk, school, and life in general. I also come from a poor faloly while he's alyrys had everything. I really like this guy. He's so different from my last relationship. Not only does he treat me diavpjqiywy, he also has his life toobxker and I find that so athisxhmwe. Not because I want his mogey but because in my last regqohkbkgip I was stoxpssnng to make a living while also worrying about my ex getting by and I was constantly putting my needs aside for his. I like the fact that I don't have to worry if he has had anything to eat or if he needs gas for the week. He's assured me that he doesn't care about how I live because at the end of the day I'm only 20 and still have pluaty of time to be successful. I understand that but still get that lingering doubt in my head.So, yesh, we've been tatying for almost a month. The more I talk to him the more I want to talk to him. The more I see him the more I want to see him. He makes me feel like I can open up to him but it makes me feel so vubrmlxnje. It's scary to me that I am falling in love with sotlane I practically just met. I keep wanting to say something but I am too scdwed to scare him away. I can kind of see the same harfsxkng to him. When he look at me, there's this thing.. I can only explain it as a twllple in his eyes when he lorks at me. He's dropped hints of wanting something long term (bringing up Valentine's Day, inrpuzng me to go on vacation with him next tixe) but I just don't know. It all just seums too good to be true! I just don't know what to do.