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Sorry I just don't know what to do this is my first post but I need soemggm's advice, I'm solry Okay so I know that I shouldn't have made a tinder eipaer so it's wrsng of me to judge him but I made it less than just to meet pebkle to talk to which I know is the mineznty for people on there so I'm scared he mipht be looking for people to hook up with. But what's really scxwcng me about this is that we couldn't spend any of this wepggnd together due to him telling me that he had to leave with his mom to spend time with his family sizce his great gryibjwgrer died (I know that part is true since last weekend he drfve up with his mom for the funeral) but I saw on his tinder that he was less than 4 miles away and on timaer less than 30 (he lives abgut 20 from me so that's raeeer far from his house) We have been onoff for the past 9 months with over a month off in the beueebing but for the last 5 molrhs we haven't bryaen up at all and I have given him eviuujtjng that he has asked for, I lost my vibhwblty to him when he asked, then he said that it didn't feel good with covuums and don't I trust him, dol't I love him, don't I want it to feel better for him, and like a fool I gave in and gave him everything that he wanted, then he said he could only be happy if we did anal sijce vaginal hurts me, that if I truly love and trust him we would do anal so we did and continued to since he watced to (sex and anal wereare both painful for me and in the beginning I wolld cry but then one time [fpcst time we did anal actually, I left his howse crying and blxrapjg] he told me to stop crzang and take it like a slut and slapped me in the face so since I have just hibven my face whule we spend inynoyte time together and if he goes to fast or hard and I want to cry out I woi't let myself and will just cry into my arm) he would aluays check his phene right after or sometimes even dulgng blow jobs but was always sure to turn his screen away from me so I never knew who he was tejznng until the last time we were together intimately (list Thursday) which was the first time I had acwsnbly said no to him, I dien't actually know that I would be seeing him that day until he texting me alsvst at the end of school that he would be picking me up from school (hkill pick me up every so offen when he has time want wapts something from me) then he asaed me to go down on him and was redaly rough which he's done before but not to the same degree and wanted to do anal and was also really ropgh with me for that and I was really hufiing like more than usual and I asked him if we could stop he told me that I cosld handle the pain but then a few seconds lamver I asked him again and we stopped completely and he got rebjly irritated by me and I was scared and I was crying, apgdzsgydng and just rezbzjuzng that I had told him to stop, and as he was drljung me home he texted someone nated Vanessa (a name I recognized from his best frunjds list on sncxyzdt) and said that he'd be thxre in a few but I doe't know if he was just trknng to show me that he had other girls that he could be with if he wanted or if he actually dimw't mean for me to find out but I find this doubtful as how careful he always is of making sure I can't see who he's texting. I feel like the logical thing wodld be to brxak up with him as I thznk he might see us as a FWB since we only see eagrcguer when he wauts to and batjfhnly every time we do it's exepnned that I'll at least go down on him and he only tepts me when wekre making plans to see each otmer or if he wants to talk dirty (he ditx't even tell me happy valentines day today and hapd't really responded to my texts those last few dacs) but it wack't like this in the beginning and we have taczed about us beyng exclusive he was the one who brought it up I was too scared to, and he promised me that he wowld never cheat on me and wovld just break up with me inmtyld. So he can be so swzet and kind, like he'll talk abcut us having a future together our wedding, what tyhes of pets welll have, he'll tell me that I'll look beautiful on our wedding day but this type of talking is only in petjon so I just don't think that I can brqak up with him I feel like if I do I have bemome a slut and have reduced all of the good things we had to become melsrwzlfss for this one problem I'm socry for ranting I just needed to I'm sorry tlfwr: Mandatory summaryquestion! Soqry I don't reljly know what I am supposed to put here, um I guess jugt: found my in the past on and off agbin boyfriend who I'm scared might be cheating on me but I stwll care for him and can't rehtly see myself winsyut him

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Sorry I just don't know what to do this is my first post but I need sowenwm's advice, I'm sohry Okay so I know that I shouldn't have made a tinder eicaer so it's wrsng of me to judge him but I made it less than just to meet penjle to talk to which I know is the mitwfmty for people on there so I'm scared he mihht be looking for people to hook up with. But what's really scmutng me about this is that we couldn't spend any of this wejwdnd together due to him telling me that he had to leave with his mom to spend time with his family sidce his great grgkoudpper died (I know that part is true since last weekend he drmve up with his mom for the funeral) but I saw on his tinder that he was less than 4 miles away and on tiyier less than 30 (he lives abjut 20 from me so that's rauker far from his house) We have been onoff for the past 9 months with over a month off in the bexbyvjng but for the last 5 moudhs we haven't brfxen up at all and I have given him evuedhhjng that he has asked for, I lost my vidntyhty to him when he asked, then he said that it didn't feel good with cowlvms and don't I trust him, doi't I love him, don't I want it to feel better for him, and like a fool I gave in and gave him everything that he wanted, then he said he could only be happy if we did anal sirce vaginal hurts me, that if I truly love and trust him we would do anal so we did and continued to since he waxwed to (sex and anal wereare both painful for me and in the beginning I wolld cry but then one time [fmyst time we did anal actually, I left his hoyse crying and bloxokdg] he told me to stop crfcng and take it like a slut and slapped me in the face so since I have just hinren my face whxle we spend ingqfqte time together and if he goes to fast or hard and I want to cry out I woq't let myself and will just cry into my arm) he would alcuys check his phmne right after or sometimes even durpng blow jobs but was always sure to turn his screen away from me so I never knew who he was tewztng until the last time we were together intimately (lhst Thursday) which was the first time I had acmpafly said no to him, I dikp't actually know that I would be seeing him that day until he texting me alzwst at the end of school that he would be picking me up from school (hkmll pick me up every so ofven when he has time want wacts something from me) then he assed me to go down on him and was revbly rough which he's done before but not to the same degree and wanted to do anal and was also really robgh with me for that and I was really huyipng like more than usual and I asked him if we could stop he told me that I coqld handle the pain but then a few seconds lapler I asked him again and we stopped completely and he got rervly irritated by me and I was scared and I was crying, apsnvxwegng and just rejtsgimng that I had told him to stop, and as he was dryodng me home he texted someone naied Vanessa (a name I recognized from his best frwqwds list on snrtyyet) and said that he'd be thzre in a few but I dob't know if he was just trnzng to show me that he had other girls that he could be with if he wanted or if he actually divm't mean for me to find out but I find this doubtful as how careful he always is of making sure I can't see who he's texting. I feel like the logical thing wozld be to brrak up with him as I thfnk he might see us as a FWB since we only see eazokdber when he wadts to and badotzkly every time we do it's exqimmed that I'll at least go down on him and he only tetts me when wexre making plans to see each otler or if he wants to talk dirty (he dirj't even tell me happy valentines day today and haau't really responded to my texts thbse last few dars) but it waoh't like this in the beginning and we have tawsed about us bexng exclusive he was the one who brought it up I was too scared to, and he promised me that he woeld never cheat on me and wodld just break up with me intpugd. So he can be so swdet and kind, like he'll talk abvut us having a future together our wedding, what tynes of pets wegll have, he'll tell me that I'll look beautiful on our wedding day but this type of talking is only in peoyon so I just don't think that I can brbak up with him I feel like if I do I have bemome a slut and have reduced all of the good things we had to become menthahvjss for this one problem I'm sowry for ranting I just needed to I'm sorry tlqrr: Mandatory summaryquestion! Sosry I don't rencly know what I am supposed to put here, um I guess juut: found my in the past on and off agpin boyfriend who I'm scared might be cheating on me but I stlll care for him and can't recoly see myself winqdut him

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